Killer Chidley

One of the things I love about seeing Ben Calder at Shrewsbury’s Centre for Integral Health, is how his Kinesiology sessions make me think about myself. I first went to visit Ben thinking I was absolutely fine and there was nothing really to work on, but that is so far from the case. There are little traits of mine which I’ve found annoying but thought, “hey, that’s just the way I am”, but Ben can help reset the way I operate, he’s not changing my personality, just helping me cope with everyday situations. Now, every time I visit Ben, I have a list as long as my arm: how I’m feeling, how I’m coping, how I’ve dealt with something. Ben will simply guide me through it, helping me to understand a situation a bit better and then go on to help reverse certain areas in my brain by using Kinesiology, whether it’s due to low self-esteem, worry, confidence, fear, etc.

(See my other post: Kinesiology… Magic).

Last year when I went to visit Ben, after talking a lot, he realised I had an issue with applying assertiveness and fearing aggression, I put this to being a combination of my nature and a result of my past relationship (click here for →This is my story..), but when I’m competing on my bike, racing down a gnarly stage, aggression is good, it’s the fire within me I need to get down.

Ben is working on bringing out that “Killer Chidley” he knows is in me, it just needs guidance on how to enter the world.

_MEP7861 Crop Colour

Ben used a clever and fascinating technique to reverse/reset the affected areas in my brain, which will help me feel more comfortable with assertiveness and less afraid of it.

Through using Kinesiology, Ben found other areas I struggled with, one of which is focus. So Ben started to help me, which would also contribute to helping apply my aggression. As well as guiding me and reassuring me that aggression is good and it’s not all as bad or as damaging as the aggression I have experienced in the past, it’s part of our survival and I depend on aggression to be a good racer, he recommended I start meditating.


I must admit, until this point I had a very stereotypical view of meditation, and knew zero health benefits that came along with it and just saw how much valuable time it took up. However, I like to think I’m open minded and as soon as Ben mentioned meditation, I was interested. It’s certainly something I’d never thought about before, however, my lack of focus and assertiveness is something I’ve thought about and just assumed… that’s the way I am. If there was something I could do to change that, then I’m all ears. Ben also discovered my body was lacking in B5 vitamins which will help my brains overall functioning.

When I’m competing and racing my bike down a track, my focus is everywhere, I seem to notice everything, but the track, I struggle to remember tracks and they end up blending into one big run, unless I’m able to ride a track 10+ times, it often feels like it’s the first time I’ve ridden it. I notice every person on the sideline, every marshal, every spectator, every photographer, every dog. If I mess up a line, I get frustrated with myself and then miss every single line afterwards, the entire run feels like a battle, I’m quite hard on myself during a run and put myself down when I make a small mistake, but that negative energy sets the tone for the rest of the run, I feel inadequate and useless, so that’s how I start to ride. Probably like many people, I ride much better during practice, I’m more relaxed, there’s no pressure and I don’t get held up on any mistakes. I’ve had good results, I’ve had great results, but if Ben could really help me with my focus I know my riding would go above and beyond.

So let’s give this meditation a go. Ben gave me a posture that was easy to hold, whilst taking pressure off my spleen. I could stand there for an hour, still as anything, but one thing I struggled with and continue to struggle with, is; I can not switch my brain off. I’m not solving problems, finding solutions, fixing life… I’m simply thinking, my brain seems to be filled with irrelevant thoughts. I often drift out of a conversation because someone’s mentioned something, which I take away and start daydreaming… even though that person is still talking and on to a completely different subject already, and this is how I operate on the track.


I have become more and more aware of my body, my brain, the way I cope, the way I present myself; it’s been a long process but I’m getting better. I still haven’t managed switching my brain off, and fallen into that deep meditation state (which sounds wonderful). However, I feel more present, I’m trying harder to really focus on conversations and not letting myself drift away, most night’s I fall asleep listening to an audiobook from Louise Hay. With the help from Ben, I’m reseting my mind process.

It’s great to see how more and more of the world are becoming awear of the benefits of meditation, and how important it is to look after yourself, not just your body, but just as importantly, your mind too.

Follow this link, showing the results from a school replacing detention with meditation → Click here


Stay tuned to see how else Ben Calder can help me try to be the best version of me.

Dan Wyre Photography


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